Monthly Archives: August 2015

BREAK THE CYCLE. Itsnotthatfuckinghard,ormaybe.. it is?

Breathe.
Relax for a moment.
Imagine still water, or whatever makes your heart slow down a little.

Now, why the fuck is it so hard for ppl to understandthatIhaveTRAUMATICBRAININJURYand there are things that will not ever go away no matter how hard I work at it.
I am so tired.
Today was so long already, and it is 6:30.
I walked two/threemiles to the track to sprint the straights and jog the curves for five laps, I walked home(toavoidfurthersprainingmyfuckingsprained,recoveringankle), I walked two miles to the Bard College Stevensen gym to lift weights and swim laps for about an hour, finally I walked home. YOU THINK ITS OVER?haITSNEVERFUCKINGGOINGTOBEOVER.IWON’T,ICAN’TSLEEPUNTILMYWORLDISSAFE. I can not rest.

Still your legs, sit down. Be fucking still, you do not need to prove anything to anyone; at least, not right now you do not need to.

i wish i could make you understand. make you see. help you feel it; if even only for a fckingmoment.igetso crazy sometimes. i try to tell them all. i try to explain that i can see it.

What are you seeing, exactly?

i see life. life. is. everywhere..and they are killing it, and i dontknow why. usuallyicansee there thinking. this time all i can see is empty eyes.

What do you mean, who has empty eyes?

noone in particular. just EVERYONE

Everyone. Why do they have empty eyes?

you ever see that music video of the pplrunning around with huge pupils, or black eyes, however you wana look at it???

Yes.

its like that when it happens.

When what happens?

i get into this state of mind and ppl dont make any fuckingsense and they all appear to be just floatingaround barelymaking it, and they have those fucking black on black eyes. so creepy.